Ladies and gentlemen and children, hello
Today is a very special day, as you all well know
"It's Pizza pot providence!" I hear you all think
Shame on you. How shallow. Now let me begin.

If I were a good brother, I would use this chance to expound
Upon Cindra's numerous achievements, however, I've found
That I'm not a very good brother, and one thing is for sure
I really like my sister, but I like embarrassing her more.

She thought she was Shirley temple until she was five years old
She thought she could eat her food quicker if she plugged her nose
She was once caught drinking water from my sister's fish tank
And that was actually pretty gross. I hope she got spanked.

She thought the noise from the rodeo was God getting upset
And at the table she would eat napkins any chance she would get
And then there was the time she ate sticks of Miracle Gro
But as I recall, I think I had something to do with that though

But she would never eat her dinner, every night was a war
She would scream and she would cry until her throat was sore
Then then she whimper and breathe for a minute at best
Then with a martyr's determination, continue her protest

Her plate would eventually be emptied but with her child's wisdom
It was evident that she had found a loophole in the system
True, her plate was cleared as required, no food would be seen
we'd later find it in her toes, hair and everywhere in between.

Despite all of her antics and faults, which are easiest to recall
She has admirable qualities, effortlessly displayed to us all
She's hard working, determined, knowledgeable in all fields
It's a constant amazement, how much intelligence she wields
She's warm, and caring, and always there lend a hand
If  there's an issue she's behind, be sure she'll make a stand
A person of vision and intillect, and yet so much humbleness she brings
Just kidding, not really. She's not any of those things.

But I'm her brother, and picking on her is solely my task
And if anyone else feels like doing so, it's me they should ask
Because though I'm the first to tease her, I'll be the first to defend
'Cause she's not just my sister - she's one of my very best friends.