I've had a worry, a concern, a burden, a struggle. I've been carrying this load for a long time. I was losing my Joy. Not the everyday living type of joy, but the deep down in your heart that everything is okay type of joy. I felt a constant frustration that life was pulling me in every direction, demanding a piece of me.
"Has it been well over a year now Lord?"
I've tried to deal with it on my own. I've cried about it. I've anguished about it. I've prayed about it. I've ignored it and come back to it.
"Lord I know you see, I know you hear,
Lord show me the way".
His silence told me.
"Not yet. You are not ready for my answer."
I waited, I prayed, I struggled some more. Then, yesterday I went to the house of my good friend Helen and God said
"Now it's time. Now you are ready." On the chalk board in her dining room she had written the focus of her devotions. Four simple words... "Joy vs Self Pity" God told me. "Now you are ready to hear. It's your fault that you struggle. You struggle because you are too busy looking at your worries and not looking at me." "You mean this frustration and lack of joy I feel is self pity Lord? How can it be self pity. I detest self pity." "Self pity can come in many forms, among them anger or frustration. When the cares of this world back you into a corner and make you feel worry, you can either look at them and feel wronged, or you can look at me and feel my love" and the burden was lifted. What an awesome God we serve! Thank you Lord!!